ugly boy wrote:
^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?
The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.
I agree with you Coach but unfortunately the matter does not end here, the media are exploiting loopholes and gaps and it is obviously not good for the boy they are trying to make him the bad boy of English football just to sell papers, I think Kenny should reach out in a more constructive way to the boys guardian, they did a good job raising the boy to fulfill his potential. Football is not only about talent, you need a support, including someone talking to your coach regularly encouraging you days things have not gone right.
Prince who is the boy's guardian? He isn't a boy anymore he is a man. He spent time with his best friend's dad who manipulated him against his parents in order to financially profit from the boys talent. Kenny has always dealt with everything privately until they decided to put out fake stories in order to cover the things they did. Dele was never adopted. Just a teenager rebelling at home going to stay with his best friend who was his team mate., Which by the way was convenient because they went to practice together everyday. Kenny didn't put up a big fight cause everything he did was to ensure dele acheived his dream. What was the alternative pack your bags and come to the US and dump professional soccer? You guys think Dele just came out of nowhere and started playing for tottenham. He played for MK Dons for a while and was their top player all while this was going on and he was still coming to houston to visit dad and dad to UK to visit him.Kenny is wealthy and not looking to profit from his son's career otherwise none of this would happen. Believe me the boy is being exploited big time and I can't divulge too much personal details.
Kenny has a oil company in Nigeria, a real estate company in Nigeria building and selling houses and owns multiple property in the UK not to talk of his US business. At least one of his properties in the UK had dedicated rent payments going to Dele for his pocket money. I can't say too much here. Just leave it alone the truth will come out
Does it always have to be about monetary gain with Nigerian, why was he missing from his son's life when he was most needed. The fact of the matter is that he has been disowned by his successful son
for a reason.
And how do you know this for certain? You actually call it a fact.
Look, Aaron Rodgers (the best American football player) has not spoken to any member of his family for years, and by all accounts, he grew up in a loving and stable home. Dele Alli's life was anything but that, but by all publicly available accounts, Kenny Alli played the role of a father in Dele Alli's life till about the age of 13. Maybe you think bringing a kid to Nigeria to enrol him in school or taking him to America is abandonment.
Obviously someone dropped the ball around age 13. His Dad says he was sent back to England to develop his career in the UK given his talent. I have friends who have sent their kids to soccer academies in the UK after secondary school Education in Nigeria. Most of us went to boarding house. That is certainly not abandonment by parents.
I guess Kenny thought it was best to send him back to the mum instead of an academy, but it seems the mum's situation was really messed up. Maybe that is what Dele Alli is rebelling against. Leaving the stability of America (even if there was a stepmum) to the mess of life in the UK (even if things were going well on the field). The mum did not even seem to care when he moved in with the friend's family.
Anyone who has followed the story of a lot of supremely athletically gifted American prodigies from messed up ghetto backgrounds can tell the role this 'friend's father' is playing. You can't knock him for giving Alli a roof over his head, but the man sees him as a huge meal ticket. Happens all the time in America. Some people do it out of the goodness of their heart, but even in stories like 'The Blind Side' they forget about the efforts of others before the (usually white) heroes got to the scene.
Young men, teenagers especially, need to be groomed and mentored by older men and will gravitate towards that. That is why that age range is so crucial. It is around that around that age that most boys join gangs. Not surprising that Dele posted himself to the house and influence of an older man that was around. I think his Dad dropped the ball at that crucial time, but it is obvious this man who is now running 'Dele Alli promotions' influenced him for financial gain. It will be interesting to see how old Dele Alli was when contracts were signed, and who gets what.
Chris Jenkins, who made the amazing winning shot in the NCAA tournament for Villanova lives with Nate Britts's family and has done son for almost a decade. Similar situation. Single mum (more stable as she is a college professor) felt it was better for a 12-13 year old boy to live with his friend and be under the influence of an older man.
You don't hear the Britt's wanting to become Chris Jenkin's manager. http://6abc.com/sports/villanovas-kris- ... p/1276173/
My advice to Dele's father is to drop all the public reconciliation effort, and maybe even some of the private reconciliation ones. Your son might be angry about giving up the stability you could have provided in his teenage years, but he won't forget the earliest years which may be his happiest years and when he felt he was really where he belonged. Do the regular routine things, Birthdays, Christmas and the occasional calls. If you are passing through London, stop by to see him & remind him who is boss if he is disrespectful.
Unfortunately, you might not be able to do much to help him if people are financially taking advantage of him at the moment. However a man will not forget who his father is, especially if that father did a lot more than being a sperm donor.