Cybereagles

^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

Coach wrote:^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

I agree with you Coach but unfortunately the matter does not end here, the media are exploiting loopholes and gaps and it is obviously not good for the boy they are trying to make him the bad boy of English football just to sell papers, I think Kenny should reach out in a more constructive way to the boys guardian, they did a good job raising the boy to fulfill his potential. Football is not only about talent, you need a support, including someone talking to your coach regularly encouraging you days things have not gone right.

Coach wrote:^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

Nailed by Coachito

Coach wrote:^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

Prince wrote:

Coach wrote:^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

I agree with you Coach but unfortunately the matter does not end here, the media are exploiting loopholes and gaps and it is obviously not good for the boy they are trying to make him the bad boy of English football just to sell papers, I think Kenny should reach out in a more constructive way to the boys guardian, they did a good job raising the boy to fulfill his potential. Football is not only about talent, you need a support, including someone talking to your coach regularly encouraging you days things have not gone right.

Prince who is the boy's guardian? He isn't a boy anymore he is a man. He spent time with his best friend's dad who manipulated him against his parents in order to financially profit from the boys talent. Kenny has always dealt with everything privately until they decided to put out fake stories in order to cover the things they did. Dele was never adopted. Just a teenager rebelling at home going to stay with his best friend who was his team mate., Which by the way was convenient because they went to practice together everyday. Kenny didn't put up a big fight cause everything he did was to ensure dele acheived his dream. What was the alternative pack your bags and come to the US and dump professional soccer? You guys think Dele just came out of nowhere and started playing for tottenham. He played for MK Dons for a while and was their top player all while this was going on and he was still coming to houston to visit dad and dad to UK to visit him.

Kenny is wealthy and not looking to profit from his son's career otherwise none of this would happen. Believe me the boy is being exploited big time and I can't divulge too much personal details.
Kenny has a oil company in Nigeria, a real estate company in Nigeria building and selling houses and owns multiple property in the UK not to talk of his US business. At least one of his properties in the UK had dedicated rent payments going to Dele for his pocket money. I can't say too much here. Just leave it alone the truth will come out.

@Ugly, the only question he has to answer is, Were you there? Putting money in pockets is irrelevant and certainly isn't enough. Anyway, Dele is at liberty to decide and his "father in absentia" can only accept the choice made.

Coach wrote:@Ugly, the only question he has to answer is, Were you there? Putting money in pockets is irrelevant and certainly isn't enough. Anyway, Dele is at liberty to decide and his "father in absentia" can only accept the choice made.

@Coach, somewhat overly simplistic conclusion without knowing all the facts. Physical presence is not a requirement for being a parent. I know of fathers who have been away from their families for eons to be able to afford a better life for the family.

^What they assumed was a better life. It's one thing to work away from home, visit on weekends, bank holidays etc another thing to move on entirely....even if it's for the best of one's footballing development.

Out of interest, did Dad contact the Daily Mail when Dele was at Milton Keyes too?

Coach wrote:^What they assumed was a better life. It's one thing to work away from home, visit on weekends, bank holidays etc another thing to move on entirely....even if it's for the best of one's footballing development.

Out of interest, did Dad contact the Daily Mail when Dele was at Milton Keyes too?

[color=brown]Coach[/color] wrote: ^What they assumed was a better life. It's one thing to work away from home, visit on weekends, bank holidays etc another thing to move on entirely....even if it's for the best of one's footballing development.

Out of interest, did Dad contact the Daily Mail when Dele was at Milton Keyes too?

I don't understand why you are been unfairly and critically harsh on Dele's dad when a member of this board has tried to give us a balanced side of events. Daily Mail has always been known for sensationalizing stories and this appears to be one of them. Life is never black and white. There are many factors that can lead to a family getting separated with a kid forced to live in a not too ideal situation. The bottomline is has the father made any attempt to continue to be a part of his son's life before and after the family was torn apart? From reports we have read Dele has lived with his father in Nigeria and US so this is not a case of abandonment.

Please note, Dele has not come to say directly that he has any issues with his dad. I have not read any quote where he said his father abandoned him. Before the beginning of the season Dele gave an interview where he said he no longer identifies with the name Alli and only wants to be known as Dele. He never said what the issue was, whom he was having problems with nor do we know if he has since resolved the matter. This is a family matter and it is best we respect their privacy. Every family has their own unique issues and it will be unfair for it to be blasted, discussed and dissected over the social media willy nilly.

Its a Goal wrote:

[color=brown]Coach[/color] wrote: ^What they assumed was a better life. It's one thing to work away from home, visit on weekends, bank holidays etc another thing to move on entirely....even if it's for the best of one's footballing development.

Out of interest, did Dad contact the Daily Mail when Dele was at Milton Keyes too?

I don't understand why you are been unfairly and critically harsh on Dele's dad when a member of this board has tried to give us a balanced side of events. Daily Mail has always been known for sensationalizing stories and this appears to be one of them. Life is never black and white. There are many factors that can lead to a family getting separated with a kid forced to live in a not too ideal situation. The bottomline is has the father made any attempt to continue to be a part of his son's life before and after the family was torn apart? From reports we have read Dele has lived with his father in Nigeria and US so this is not a case of abandonment.

Please note, Dele has not come to say directly that he has any issues with his dad. I have not read any quote where he said his father abandoned him. Before the beginning of the season Dele gave an interview where he said he no longer identifies with the name Alli and only wants to be known as Dele. He never said what the issue was, whom he was having problems with nor do we know if he has since resolved the matter. This is a family matter and it is best we respect their privacy. Every family has their own unique issues and it will be unfair for it to be blasted, discussed and dissected over the social media willy nilly.

But when you changed your name from Its A Goal to Its a Goat, wasn't it because you had problems with goals?

^^Absolutely, t'is a family affair and yet the laundry has been voluntarily washed in public. Much of what is known is assumption and much of that may well have been airbrushed to sell the story. On the basis of what is or rather, has been said, there's been a loss of contact and appeal for the young man to go home. Interestingly, there doesn't seem to be much in the way of such appeals during the Milton Keynes days, according to Jeeves and Google.

To be brutally honest, this sorry state of affairs is none of our business beyond the moral and lesson it offers. Be there, once the second has passed, it never returns and such is the mystery of time, the smallest of measures to one may be of great significance to another.

zee wrote:

Coach wrote:^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

Nailed by Coachito

ugly boy wrote:

Prince wrote:

Coach wrote:^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

I agree with you Coach but unfortunately the matter does not end here, the media are exploiting loopholes and gaps and it is obviously not good for the boy they are trying to make him the bad boy of English football just to sell papers, I think Kenny should reach out in a more constructive way to the boys guardian, they did a good job raising the boy to fulfill his potential. Football is not only about talent, you need a support, including someone talking to your coach regularly encouraging you days things have not gone right.

Prince who is the boy's guardian? He isn't a boy anymore he is a man. He spent time with his best friend's dad who manipulated him against his parents in order to financially profit from the boys talent. Kenny has always dealt with everything privately until they decided to put out fake stories in order to cover the things they did. Dele was never adopted. Just a teenager rebelling at home going to stay with his best friend who was his team mate., Which by the way was convenient because they went to practice together everyday. Kenny didn't put up a big fight cause everything he did was to ensure dele acheived his dream. What was the alternative pack your bags and come to the US and dump professional soccer? You guys think Dele just came out of nowhere and started playing for tottenham. He played for MK Dons for a while and was their top player all while this was going on and he was still coming to houston to visit dad and dad to UK to visit him.

Kenny is wealthy and not looking to profit from his son's career otherwise none of this would happen. Believe me the boy is being exploited big time and I can't divulge too much personal details.
Kenny has a oil company in Nigeria, a real estate company in Nigeria building and selling houses and owns multiple property in the UK not to talk of his US business. At least one of his properties in the UK had dedicated rent payments going to Dele for his pocket money. I can't say too much here. Just leave it alone the truth will come out.

Does it always have to be about monetary gain with Nigerian, why was he missing from his son's life when he was most needed. The fact of the matter is that he has been disowned by his successful son for a reason.

realtrouble wrote:

ugly boy wrote:

Prince wrote:

Coach wrote:^Nonsense, if he frequents the forum, then he is all the better for it. Why the necessary sugar coating of the situation? The age old practice of dumping was and perhaps still is commonplace amongst Nigerian families. Some, perhaps many Cyberians may have been dumped themselves. Lest one forget the promise upon stepping onto the road of parenthood, to protect and preserve the progeny. A Wantaway father may well cast their hat into the ring for father of the year, but even the most partial of courtrooms would ask 'were you there?'. The ups, the downs, the cut knees, the trophies, the wins, the losses, the passes, the fails, the mistakes, the temptations, were you there? There to lend your life experience, to shepherd your sheep through this labyrinthine wilderness, a home to ravenous wolves. Were you there?

The desperation effusing through these pages, all the charlatan's casuistry, in effort to dismiss the reneging on responsibility that is abandonment, shows how far there is still to go. Whether Alli's choices are born of his experience in childhood, who knows, but argument can be made for its influencing attitude and animosity. Rather than scramble for chimerical awards, Father of the Year, let this be an education to us all. Gentlemen, we are fathers not by blood alone but by our actions. Be there. Don't be Kenny.

I agree with you Coach but unfortunately the matter does not end here, the media are exploiting loopholes and gaps and it is obviously not good for the boy they are trying to make him the bad boy of English football just to sell papers, I think Kenny should reach out in a more constructive way to the boys guardian, they did a good job raising the boy to fulfill his potential. Football is not only about talent, you need a support, including someone talking to your coach regularly encouraging you days things have not gone right.

Prince who is the boy's guardian? He isn't a boy anymore he is a man. He spent time with his best friend's dad who manipulated him against his parents in order to financially profit from the boys talent. Kenny has always dealt with everything privately until they decided to put out fake stories in order to cover the things they did. Dele was never adopted. Just a teenager rebelling at home going to stay with his best friend who was his team mate., Which by the way was convenient because they went to practice together everyday. Kenny didn't put up a big fight cause everything he did was to ensure dele acheived his dream. What was the alternative pack your bags and come to the US and dump professional soccer? You guys think Dele just came out of nowhere and started playing for tottenham. He played for MK Dons for a while and was their top player all while this was going on and he was still coming to houston to visit dad and dad to UK to visit him.

Kenny is wealthy and not looking to profit from his son's career otherwise none of this would happen. Believe me the boy is being exploited big time and I can't divulge too much personal details.
Kenny has a oil company in Nigeria, a real estate company in Nigeria building and selling houses and owns multiple property in the UK not to talk of his US business. At least one of his properties in the UK had dedicated rent payments going to Dele for his pocket money. I can't say too much here. Just leave it alone the truth will come out.

Does it always have to be about monetary gain with Nigerian, why was he missing from his son's life when he was most needed. The fact of the matter is that he has been disowned by his successful son for a reason.

And how do you know this for certain? You actually call it a fact.

Look, Aaron Rodgers (the best American football player) has not spoken to any member of his family for years, and by all accounts, he grew up in a loving and stable home. Dele Alli's life was anything but that, but by all publicly available accounts, Kenny Alli played the role of a father in Dele Alli's life till about the age of 13. Maybe you think bringing a kid to Nigeria to enrol him in school or taking him to America is abandonment.

Obviously someone dropped the ball around age 13. His Dad says he was sent back to England to develop his career in the UK given his talent. I have friends who have sent their kids to soccer academies in the UK after secondary school Education in Nigeria. Most of us went to boarding house. That is certainly not abandonment by parents.

I guess Kenny thought it was best to send him back to the mum instead of an academy, but it seems the mum's situation was really messed up. Maybe that is what Dele Alli is rebelling against. Leaving the stability of America (even if there was a stepmum) to the mess of life in the UK (even if things were going well on the field). The mum did not even seem to care when he moved in with the friend's family.

Anyone who has followed the story of a lot of supremely athletically gifted American prodigies from messed up ghetto backgrounds can tell the role this 'friend's father' is playing. You can't knock him for giving Alli a roof over his head, but the man sees him as a huge meal ticket. Happens all the time in America. Some people do it out of the goodness of their heart, but even in stories like 'The Blind Side' they forget about the efforts of others before the (usually white) heroes got to the scene.

Young men, teenagers especially, need to be groomed and mentored by older men and will gravitate towards that. That is why that age range is so crucial. It is around that around that age that most boys join gangs. Not surprising that Dele posted himself to the house and influence of an older man that was around. I think his Dad dropped the ball at that crucial time, but it is obvious this man who is now running 'Dele Alli promotions' influenced him for financial gain. It will be interesting to see how old Dele Alli was when contracts were signed, and who gets what.

Chris Jenkins, who made the amazing winning shot in the NCAA tournament for Villanova lives with Nate Britts's family and has done son for almost a decade. Similar situation. Single mum (more stable as she is a college professor) felt it was better for a 12-13 year old boy to live with his friend and be under the influence of an older man.

You don't hear the Britt's wanting to become Chris Jenkin's manager.

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http://6abc.com/sports/villanovas-kris- ... p/1276173/

My advice to Dele's father is to drop all the public reconciliation effort, and maybe even some of the private reconciliation ones. Your son might be angry about giving up the stability you could have provided in his teenage years, but he won't forget the earliest years which may be his happiest years and when he felt he was really where he belonged. Do the regular routine things, Birthdays, Christmas and the occasional calls. If you are passing through London, stop by to see him & remind him who is boss if he is disrespectful.

Unfortunately, you might not be able to do much to help him if people are financially taking advantage of him at the moment. However a man will not forget who his father is, especially if that father did a lot more than being a sperm donor.

@TrueTalk his father did not stop being his father at the age of 13. Dele still spent summers in the US as recently as three years ago

ugly boy wrote:@TrueTalk his father did not stop being his father at the age of 13. Dele still spent summers in the US as recently as three years ago

Thanks.
I was just piecing things together from what is public.

It is obvious that some people feel the need to cover up whatever pecuniary benefits they are getting by pointing out just how 'horrible' a situation they saved him from.

Really sad.

ugly boy wrote:@TrueTalk his father did not stop being his father at the age of 13. Dele still spent summers in the US as recently as three years ago

thanks for the clarification, especially regarding ~ 3 yrs ago. That makes him ~ 17 at the time. If a 20-yr old suddenly decides to drop his last name despite being close to his Dad up to age 17 (at least), something must have really happened recently. Or he must be really immature if someone can convince him at 20 to do that!

Coach wrote:^^Absolutely, t'is a family affair and yet the laundry has been voluntarily washed in public. Much of what is known is assumption and much of that may well have been airbrushed to sell the story. On the basis of what is or rather, has been said, there's been a loss of contact and appeal for the young man to go home. Interestingly, there doesn't seem to be much in the way of such appeals during the Milton Keynes days, according to Jeeves and Google.

To be brutally honest, this sorry state of affairs is none of our business beyond the moral and lesson it offers. Be there, once the second has passed, it never returns and such is the mystery of time, the smallest of measures to one may be of great significance to another.

If you've ever been the subject of media interest before, or if you've ever been privy to inside information on a matter the press has specifically taken an interest in, you will know that what is out there titillating the public can be very far removed from reality.

So there is no point 'dragging matter' when u have someone right under your nose giving you first-hand inside information even at the risk of breaking family confidentiality. Rather than run with press reports and use that as a platform from which to speculate, either let it all rest or at least factor in some of the things the insider is telling us.

I don't see why you should be more willing to run with press reports when you have someone right here giving you info that sounds quite credible.

Chief Ogbunigwe wrote:

ugly boy wrote:@TrueTalk his father did not stop being his father at the age of 13. Dele still spent summers in the US as recently as three years ago

thanks for the clarification, especially regarding ~ 3 yrs ago. That makes him ~ 17 at the time. If a 20-yr old suddenly decides to drop his last name despite being close to his Dad up to age 17 (at least), something must have really happened recently. Or he must be really immature if someone can convince him at 20 to do that!

20-year-olds are immature, full stop.
Like I always say, I made some pretty bone-headed decisions at twenty and I'm pretty sure most of us did. We were not even privileged to have the kind of wealth, fame and independence that Dele Alli now has, or even had age 17.
I am convinced that up to the age about 25, young people have some brain parts missing becos I just cannot understand some of the things they do (or don't do) at that age.
Were you or I any different at that age? Probably not.

Damunk wrote:

Chief Ogbunigwe wrote:

ugly boy wrote:@TrueTalk his father did not stop being his father at the age of 13. Dele still spent summers in the US as recently as three years ago

thanks for the clarification, especially regarding ~ 3 yrs ago. That makes him ~ 17 at the time. If a 20-yr old suddenly decides to drop his last name despite being close to his Dad up to age 17 (at least), something must have really happened recently. Or he must be really immature if someone can convince him at 20 to do that!

20-year-olds are immature, full stop.
Like I always say, I made some pretty bone-headed decisions at twenty and I'm pretty sure most of us did. We were not even privileged to have the kind of wealth, fame and independence that Dele Alli now has, or even had age 17.
I am convinced that up to the age about 25, young people have some brain parts missing becos I just cannot understand some of the things they do (or don't do) at that age.
Were you or I any different at that age? Probably not.

At age 20, I was nearing completion of my degree. If I ever had any rebellious thoughts about my Dad (to the extent of changing family name), I would have slapped myself, added backhand, and gone to do angu 90 at the corner.

Seriously though, everyone is different, and I see your point. My point (piggying-back on Ugly's position), is mainly about the level of immaturity that would make a 20-yr old amenable to such bad "influences" as to drop one's family name. I think it is a different situation if he made a mature/immature decision to that effect on his own.

Just be careful how you raise your kids, be firm but please be there for them and try and get to know them....the ancient Naija way won't work especially in the West....understand your kid, the environment, their strengths and weaknesses.

Chief Ogbunigwe wrote:

Damunk wrote:

Chief Ogbunigwe wrote:

ugly boy wrote:@TrueTalk his father did not stop being his father at the age of 13. Dele still spent summers in the US as recently as three years ago

thanks for the clarification, especially regarding ~ 3 yrs ago. That makes him ~ 17 at the time. If a 20-yr old suddenly decides to drop his last name despite being close to his Dad up to age 17 (at least), something must have really happened recently. Or he must be really immature if someone can convince him at 20 to do that!

20-year-olds are immature, full stop.
Like I always say, I made some pretty bone-headed decisions at twenty and I'm pretty sure most of us did. We were not even privileged to have the kind of wealth, fame and independence that Dele Alli now has, or even had age 17.
I am convinced that up to the age about 25, young people have some brain parts missing becos I just cannot understand some of the things they do (or don't do) at that age.
Were you or I any different at that age? Probably not.

At age 20, I was nearing completion of my degree. If I ever had any rebellious thoughts about my Dad (to the extent of changing family name), I would have slapped myself, added backhand, and gone to do angu 90 at the corner..

Same here.

But let me tell you a few things I did...
1. I refused to go home for about 15 months becos I was 'angry' with my dad. Despite pleas from my mum and sisters. Despite living barely 5 miles from the medical school in Lagos.
I maintained myself by hiring film projectors and films and showing them on University campuses in Lagos Ibadan and Ife for a gate fee. That's probably how I fell in love with film.
When I eventually agreed to go back home, my father simply asked 'So what were you trying to prove?' and I felt real stupid for ever thinking he would say 'sorry'.

2. I was always absconding from town. Like I had 'Sokugo' - the 'Wanderer's Disease' in Cyprian Ekwensi's 'Burning Grass'. Jos, Calabar, Ibadan, Kaduna, Abuja, Ilorin, Ife... even London. No warning. Not telling even my roommates where I was going, or when. Once my parents came looking for me and my roommates had to lie that they saw me 'yesterday', whereas they hadn't seen me for 2 weeks and had no idea where I was...

Seriously though, everyone is different, and I see your point. My point (piggying-back on Ugly's position), is mainly about the level of immaturity that would make a 20-yr old amenable to such bad "influences" as to drop one's family name. I think it is a different situation if he made a mature/immature decision to that effect on his own

That's the life of some 20-year-olds and 'Stupidity' is their middle name.
You were too wise for your age..