Personal Insults & Acceptable Forum Behaviour - Your View

[seara]

Damunk.. your poll is not accurate.

What we have now is not "anything goes". We all know Parents and family members are out of bounds.

I'm all for the current rule. Anything goes except for parents and family members..

This is true and this is what was meant.
I think most already know that though.
Parental/family insults are non-negotiable.
My bad.

Please let's ALLOW all YABIS, all with no exception, it might be the BEST.

Great suggestion Odas!!!!! because I still don't get the parent's being an exception rule.

Seara, I have time for you but sometimes you can be infuriatingly stubborn. Grrrrrr!!!!!!!

You are REFUSING to recognise the cultural bias we have as Nigerians towards parental abuse. So your 'not getting it' is irrelevant. You are not Nigerian - just trying to understand and learn the culture. Even the most vile individuals (or even criminals) in Nigeria would hesitate to insult parents as they so casually do in the west. So whatever you think, want to think or refuse to think, specifically banning parental abuse is very culture-appropriate on a Nigerian forum.

Some cultures have customs that are based on emotions (reaction). Do you want people to remain immaturely reacting, instead of ignoring what's said about parents? When there's no reacting people stop trying to get a reaction out people by trying to insult parents. The people trying to insult peoples parents are childish in trying that, so why attach to a custom that makes a rule because some people can't ignore childish people?

You can't come here and start to use your own value systems to decide what is and isn't appropriate for us. You don't have to 'get it'. You take it .... or you leave it.

I'm not starting a value system and I do get it. When I was a kid I use to react when kids said stuff about my parents. First I learned to ignore it and many years later saw that when people try insulting peoples parents it has nothing to do with the parents they're trying to insult. It's just people childishly trying to dominate people through getting a reaction out of them.

If you can't respect that difference, then what are you doing here? This is exactly how you were sermonising about the methods Nigerian parents used to discipline their children (us) back in the day (and some still do same now).

There wasn't sermonizing so why did you label it that? I'm for some discipline. I'm not for the kind of violent discipline that was being described by some people back in the day. A spanking that's done without anger, to make a point, is one thing, beating a child with something, as was being described by some people, is something else.

You can state your observations and then, if you are unwilling or unable to absorb the culture of the host community you find yourself in, take a back seat.

Cultures change. The only way for ceasing people trying to insult peoples parents is not to react to them. Whose going to keep trying to insult parents when there's no reacting to it?

In Canada when I was a kid and there was prejudice towards me and some other kids because we were immigrants. Not only did they attack us physically or with rocks, they would also try insulting us and sometimes say not nice stuff about our parents. My parents encouraged me and my brother to just ignore it. It really had nothing to do with us or our parents, but with what the kids were hearing from their prejudice parents and of course some kids just wanting someone to bully. My parents were right about ignoring it, well in that town anyway. The kids stopped trying to insult when there wasn't any reacting to it. On CE, though, some people keep trying. The word fights don't solve anything and sometimes derails threads.

Many of us went thru exactly the same thing, possibly even worse.
There are even people here who lived through a civil war and/or experienced the immediate aftermath and all the prejudice that went with it. So you can't really teach many people here about prejudice and how it hurts.
But this is about what WE feel is appropriate yabbis for us, not about prejudice.

So dear eye rolling, why did you focus on word 'prejudice'? That wasn't the point. I mentioned it only as apart of saying why the kids said stuff about our parents. I wasn't trying to teach anyone about prejudice. It's obvious that no people on CE need to be taught about prejudice.

People are giving their views just like you. But they are coming from a place of a better understanding of the culture.

The better understanding of culture is that all cultures have some silliness going on.

[seara]

Damunk.. your poll is not accurate.

What we have now is not "anything goes". We all know Parents and family members are out of bounds.

I'm all for the current rule. Anything goes except for parents and family members..

This is true and this is what was meant.
I think most already know that though.
Parental/family insults are non-negotiable.
My bad.

Please let's ALLOW all YABIS, all with no exception, it might be the BEST.

Great suggestion Odas!!!!! because I still don't get the parent's being an exception rule.

In Canada when I was a kid and there was prejudice towards me and some other kids because we were immigrants. Not only did they attack us physically or with rocks, they would also try insulting us and sometimes say not nice stuff about our parents. My parents encouraged me and my brother to just ignore it. It really had nothing to do with us or our parents, but with what the kids were hearing from their prejudice parents and of course some kids just wanting someone to bully. My parents were right about ignoring it, well in that town anyway. The kids stopped trying to insult when there wasn't any reacting to it. On CE, though, some people keep trying. The word fights don't solve anything and sometimes derails threads.

Thanks Madam Seara; for your points! In addition to your opinion, I find it unreasonable to want to permit "yabis" of a kind and yet ban another. This is a Nigerian Site and indeed, that of Africa (at least, Black Africa). Where in any Nigerian or African culture and customs is it approved for the YOUNG to yab the OLD?

In beer parlors, people flock together based on their age groups; therefore, if they are to yab, they are yabbing their age mates, not people as old as their parents who; perhaps, have children as old as they are. When the old is yabbed by the young, the OLD person is entitled to deflect curses (refer) to the parents of the young because it is seen as INSULT to the OLD who is being yabbed. In some instances, other people (the young) have risen to defend the OLD when being insulted by the young in their presence. In my custom, insulting the elderly is NEVER allowed - even tomorrow.

If all that is possible, why would a person stay behind his/her Computer and insult another he/she has never met in the name of yabis and having fun? Who are you yabbing? Are you yabbing an elder whose children is of your age and perhaps your SUPERIOR in many areas of life - because we are in Cybereagles - and we are having fun?

Again, of what sense is it to respond to another Forumer with: "STFU", yet you were NOT insulted or provoked? Where is the RESPECT to the other person? Where is the professionalism? Please BAN all types of yabbing or OPEN-UP the forum and allow anything to take place (anything goes).

Well said, Odas!!!!! Thank you!!!

WARNING: If anything goes in this Forum, I believe many people will stop posting or worst still, will LEAVE. MAY GOD HELP US!

If it comes to 'anything goes' I hope the people who don't try to post insults remain posting.

[seara]

So far, with 70 votes cast...

Outright 'No' to insults: 41%
Leave things as they are ('Remainers' + 'I don't carers'): 37%
Undecideds, more info required: 22%

Odas,
The 'outright No to insults' group (41%) is NOT the majority (ie more than half of total votes cast), but simply the largest single voting block. It would only take a few undecideds to either overturn their lead or further consolidate it.

This is probably why Cellular is suggesting the poll is flawed.
It depends on the objective of the poll.
I just wanted us to get a better understanding of what people are thinking, rather than a straight 'yes/no' poll which IMHO wouldn't really be informative enough to reach a fair decision.

The key is with that 22% that want to know how an insult will be defined - which is what we are trying to do.

Damunk %s below don't count towards 'Should remain as they are - anything goes' so how did you come up with the 37% you quoted above:

Let's first define what a personal insult actually is - 18%
It doesn't matter to me - 11%

Its clear how the 37% was arrived at Seara.
Those that say leave things as they are (now 27%) plus those that don't care either way (now 11%) - total 38%

Those that want to know what an 'insult' is are the undecideds - they need more information. So how can you count them as anything else?

Damunk it seems to me you're maybe looking for a way to keep CE as is.

I have no intention of trying to manipulate opinion or the poll outcome.
I am entitled to vote but have declined to.
But yes, my opinion is pretty obvious.

I would really like to know how in your reckoning those that want a more precise definition of 'insult' can be regarded as saying 'No' to insults rather than being 'undecideds' as I have suggested.

The undecideds aren't saying 'no'. They aren't saying 'yes' either.

[Cristao II]

My take. This is taking too long. Let's have a test period of 1 week. No insults on CE.

[Cellular]

Personal insults need to be curtailed. Ayo's meaningless 10-pointers also need to be regulated...nothing riles me up on this forum more than seeing that gibberish typed out next to numbers 1-10. I feel like slapping someone each time

As things stand, you are allowed to insult him on our behalf to your heart's content....but not his family.

I am a fan of uncle wAyo.
Between him and Ohenehehe I don't know who has the thickest skin.

I vote for Ohenehehe. wAyo will lose it at times but Ohenehehe is coated with Teflon.

[Schillachi]

Damunk.. your poll is not accurate.

What we have now is not "anything goes". We all know Parents and family members are out of bounds.

I'm all for the current rule. Anything goes except for parents and family members..

This is true and this is what was meant.
I think most already know that though.
Parental/family insults are non-negotiable.
My bad.

Please let's ALLOW all YABIS, all with no exception, it might be the BEST.

Even me that's one of the prolific yabbers wholeheartedly disagree with your recommendation

[Bigpokey24]

I think Odas should be banned. .I actually suspect him of warez

[Odas]

Damunk.. your poll is not accurate.

What we have now is not "anything goes". We all know Parents and family members are out of bounds.

I'm all for the current rule. Anything goes except for parents and family members..

This is true and this is what was meant.
I think most already know that though.
Parental/family insults are non-negotiable.
My bad.

Please let's ALLOW all YABIS, all with no exception, it might be the BEST.

Even me that's one of the prolific yabbers wholeheartedly disagree with your recommendation

Chief, I think you missed what I meant by that. In a straight forward statement, I mean NO YABIS of any kind should be allowed here.

[Odas]

I think Odas should be banned. .I actually suspect him of warez

This discussion is NOT for people of your level. Go and obtain your bachelor's degree (in any field) and come back

[cchinukw]

Personal insults need to be curtailed. Ayo's meaningless 10-pointers also need to be regulated...nothing riles me up on this forum more than seeing that gibberish typed out next to numbers 1-10. I feel like slapping someone each time

As things stand, you are allowed to insult him on our behalf to your heart's content....but not his family.

I am a fan of uncle wAyo.
Between him and Ohenehehe I don't know who has the thickest skin.

I vote for Ohenehehe. wAyo will lose it at times but Ohenehehe is coated with Teflon.

Na true you talk.

I can't remember either of them say a word in anger. Ayo - maybe once or twice but Ohehen? - Lai lai.

Special mention to the less obvious - Bigpokey He never, ever insults. Him dey try for yabbis and can be rude but he manages to never insult anyone? How so

[Enugu II]

Personal insults need to be curtailed. Ayo's meaningless 10-pointers also need to be regulated...nothing riles me up on this forum more than seeing that gibberish typed out next to numbers 1-10. I feel like slapping someone each time

As things stand, you are allowed to insult him on our behalf to your heart's content....but not his family.

I am a fan of uncle wAyo.
Between him and Ohenehehe I don't know who has the thickest skin.

I vote for Ohenehehe. wAyo will lose it at times but Ohenehehe is coated with Teflon.

Na true you talk.

I can't remember either of them say a word in anger. Ayo - maybe once or twice but Ohehen? - Lai lai.

Special mention to the less obvious - Bigpokey He never, ever insults. Him dey try for yabbis and can be rude but he manages to never insult anyone? How so

The forumers you mention are IMO exemplary. I hold them in high esteem. They will debate with you fairly without belittling you or lashing out with insults because they are unable to make persuasive points.

To the point -- those mentioned above represent a minor percentage of Forumers. How do you protect the rest of us from the tyranny of the insults from others?

[Bigpokey24]

I think Odas should be banned. .I actually suspect him of warez

This discussion is NOT for people of your level. Go and obtain your bachelor's degree (in any field) and come back

Do you know what warez is?

[Cellular]

Personal insults need to be curtailed. Ayo's meaningless 10-pointers also need to be regulated...nothing riles me up on this forum more than seeing that gibberish typed out next to numbers 1-10. I feel like slapping someone each time

As things stand, you are allowed to insult him on our behalf to your heart's content....but not his family.

I am a fan of uncle wAyo.
Between him and Ohenehehe I don't know who has the thickest skin.

I vote for Ohenehehe. wAyo will lose it at times but Ohenehehe is coated with Teflon.

Na true you talk.

I can't remember either of them say a word in anger. Ayo - maybe once or twice but Ohehen? - Lai lai.

Special mention to the less obvious - Bigpokey He never, ever insults. Him dey try for yabbis and can be rude but he manages to never insult anyone? How so

The forumers you mention are IMO exemplary. I hold them in high esteem. They will debate with you fairly without belittling you or lashing out with insults because they are unable to make persuasive points.

To the point -- those mentioned above represent a minor percentage of Forumers. How do you protect the rest of us from the tyranny of the insults from others?

Prof., I don't believe in doing it (controlling behavior) by force.
We will continue to evolve... folks already adhere to no parental insults or family insult. I do believe with time gratuitous insults will be reduced to a barely noticeable level.

We have curtailed the use of profanity... next is gratuitous insults.

[aruako1]

Personal insults need to be curtailed. Ayo's meaningless 10-pointers also need to be regulated...nothing riles me up on this forum more than seeing that gibberish typed out next to numbers 1-10. I feel like slapping someone each time

As things stand, you are allowed to insult him on our behalf to your heart's content....but not his family.

I am a fan of uncle wAyo.
Between him and Ohenehehe I don't know who has the thickest skin.

I vote for Ohenehehe. wAyo will lose it at times but Ohenehehe is coated with Teflon.

Na true you talk.

I can't remember either of them say a word in anger. Ayo - maybe once or twice but Ohehen? - Lai lai.

Special mention to the less obvious - Bigpokey He never, ever insults. Him dey try for yabbis and can be rude but he manages to never insult anyone? How so

The forumers you mention are IMO exemplary. I hold them in high esteem. They will debate with you fairly without belittling you or lashing out with insults because they are unable to make persuasive points.

To the point -- those mentioned above represent a minor percentage of Forumers. How do you protect the rest of us from the tyranny of the insults from others?

Prof., I don't believe in doing it (controlling behavior) by force.
We will continue to evolve... folks already adhere to no parental insults or family insult. I do believe with time gratuitous insults will be reduced to a barely noticeable level.

We have curtailed the use of profanity... next is gratuitous insults.

Many do not post here because they will be attacked with insults and it is simply exhausting to keep going back and forth. How many new people are we adding to the forum? Where are the women? Most forumers do not insult people but there is a vocal minority that does it. It cannot be right and it is definitely not part of any culture in Nigeria to stifle opinion with insults. Why do people need to come to CE to exhibit behaviour that would not be acceptable in other social settings and at work?

[zee]

Personal insults need to be curtailed. Ayo's meaningless 10-pointers also need to be regulated...nothing riles me up on this forum more than seeing that gibberish typed out next to numbers 1-10. I feel like slapping someone each time

As things stand, you are allowed to insult him on our behalf to your heart's content....but not his family.

I am a fan of uncle wAyo.
Between him and Ohenehehe I don't know who has the thickest skin.

I vote for Ohenehehe. wAyo will lose it at times but Ohenehehe is coated with Teflon.

Na true you talk.

I can't remember either of them say a word in anger. Ayo - maybe once or twice but Ohehen? - Lai lai.

Special mention to the less obvious - Bigpokey He never, ever insults. Him dey try for yabbis and can be rude but he manages to never insult anyone? How so

The forumers you mention are IMO exemplary. I hold them in high esteem. They will debate with you fairly without belittling you or lashing out with insults because they are unable to make persuasive points.

To the point -- those mentioned above represent a minor percentage of Forumers. How do you protect the rest of us from the tyranny of the insults from others?

Prof., I don't believe in doing it (controlling behavior) by force.
We will continue to evolve... folks already adhere to no parental insults or family insult. I do believe with time gratuitous insults will be reduced to a barely noticeable level.

We have curtailed the use of profanity... next is gratuitous insults.

Many do not post here because they will be attacked with insults and it is simply exhausting to keep going back and forth. How many new people are we adding to the forum? Where are the women? Most forumers do not insult people but there is a vocal minority that does it. It cannot be right and it is definitely not part of any culture in Nigeria to stifle opinion with insults. Why do people need to come to CE to exhibit behaviour that would not be acceptable in other social settings and at work?

Remind me those 'intellectual' heavyweights that we are missing?
The WOMEN are in 'nairaland', where all the INTELLECTUAL, DECENT people congregate.

Deal with it.....there will never be another 'kindergarten OBAnization' of CE.
CE dodged a DEATH bullet during the idiotic 'reign' of Oba and his crybaby team. Those clowns were calling each other to ban forumers for 'insulting their ........................WE-teams .
If you don't like it here, please move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[aruako1]

Remind me those 'intellectual' heavyweights that we are missing?
The WOMEN are in 'nairaland', where all the INTELLECTUAL, DECENT people congregate.

Deal with it.....there will never be another 'kindergarten OBAnization' of CE.
CE dodged a DEATH bullet during the idiotic 'reign' of Oba and his crybaby team. Those clowns were calling each other to ban forumers for 'insulting their ........................WE-teams .
If you don't like it here, please move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that is the problem isn't it? We must become your echo chamber or move on isn't it? I never asked for banter to be stopped but for the targeted bullying that derails threads and makes some people not to post. The women who posted here were always a cut above Nairaland so I am not sure why that comparison is relevant. Besides if we are as tough as you claim why can't we take some "yo Mama" jokes? We threw them about when we were young and nothing happened. Why are all you tough guys sensitive about parental insults then? Let us have the free for all then.

[zee]

Remind me those 'intellectual' heavyweights that we are missing?
The WOMEN are in 'nairaland', where all the INTELLECTUAL, DECENT people congregate.

Deal with it.....there will never be another 'kindergarten OBAnization' of CE.
CE dodged a DEATH bullet during the idiotic 'reign' of Oba and his crybaby team. Those clowns were calling each other to ban forumers for 'insulting their ........................WE-teams .
If you don't like it here, please move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that is the problem isn't it? We must become your echo chamber or move on isn't it? I never asked for banter to be stopped but for the targeted bullying that derails threads and makes some people not to post. The women who posted here were always a cut above Nairaland so I am not sure why that comparison is relevant. Besides if we are as tough as you claim why can't we take some "yo Mama" jokes? We threw them about when we were young and nothing happened. Why are all you tough guys sensitive about parental insults then? Let us have the free for all then.

It is very relevant 'cos you were crying over the lack of women-forumers, which you attributed to the yabbing culture on CE...................I just referred to the nairaland that is FLOORED by women.
I was supporting your 'theory' since we all know that nairaland is a ......YABLESS forum.
My man, stop trying too hard to be like Oba

[aruako1]

Remind me those 'intellectual' heavyweights that we are missing?
The WOMEN are in 'nairaland', where all the INTELLECTUAL, DECENT people congregate.

Deal with it.....there will never be another 'kindergarten OBAnization' of CE.
CE dodged a DEATH bullet during the idiotic 'reign' of Oba and his crybaby team. Those clowns were calling each other to ban forumers for 'insulting their ........................WE-teams .
If you don't like it here, please move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that is the problem isn't it? We must become your echo chamber or move on isn't it? I never asked for banter to be stopped but for the targeted bullying that derails threads and makes some people not to post. The women who posted here were always a cut above Nairaland so I am not sure why that comparison is relevant. Besides if we are as tough as you claim why can't we take some "yo Mama" jokes? We threw them about when we were young and nothing happened. Why are all you tough guys sensitive about parental insults then? Let us have the free for all then.

It is very relevant 'cos you were crying over the lack of women-forumers, which you attributed to the yabbing culture on CE...................I just referred to the nairaland that is FLOORED by women.
I was supporting your 'theory' since we all know that nairaland is a ......YABLESS forum.
My man, stop trying too hard to be like Oba

Clearly you agree with me as you did not dispute anything in my last post. All I ask is that we can all disagree the way both of us are doing now. Facing the topic and not descending into an 'insultfest' that has nothing to do with the topic. Hopefully that is not too unreasonable for you.

[Bigpokey24]

So this jobless thread will follow CE enter 2018 as a sticky? Kai

[Odas]

I think Odas should be banned. .I actually suspect him of warez

This discussion is NOT for people of your level. Go and obtain your bachelor's degree (in any field) and come back

Do you know what warez is?

... yeah, he is your worst NIGHTMARE

[seara]

Personal insults need to be curtailed. Ayo's meaningless 10-pointers also need to be regulated...nothing riles me up on this forum more than seeing that gibberish typed out next to numbers 1-10. I feel like slapping someone each time

As things stand, you are allowed to insult him on our behalf to your heart's content....but not his family.

I am a fan of uncle wAyo.
Between him and Ohenehehe I don't know who has the thickest skin.

I vote for Ohenehehe. wAyo will lose it at times but Ohenehehe is coated with Teflon.

Na true you talk.

I can't remember either of them say a word in anger. Ayo - maybe once or twice but Ohehen? - Lai lai.

Special mention to the less obvious - Bigpokey He never, ever insults. Him dey try for yabbis and can be rude but he manages to never insult anyone? How so

The forumers you mention are IMO exemplary. I hold them in high esteem. They will debate with you fairly without belittling you or lashing out with insults because they are unable to make persuasive points.

To the point -- those mentioned above represent a minor percentage of Forumers. How do you protect the rest of us from the tyranny of the insults from others?

Prof., I don't believe in doing it (controlling behavior) by force.
We will continue to evolve... folks already adhere to no parental insults or family insult. I do believe with time gratuitous insults will be reduced to a barely noticeable level.

We have curtailed the use of profanity... next is gratuitous insults.

Many do not post here because they will be attacked with insults and it is simply exhausting to keep going back and forth. How many new people are we adding to the forum? Where are the women? Most forumers do not insult people but there is a vocal minority that does it. It cannot be right and it is definitely not part of any culture in Nigeria to stifle opinion with insults. Why do people need to come to CE to exhibit behaviour that would not be acceptable in other social settings and at work?

[seara]

Remind me those 'intellectual' heavyweights that we are missing?
The WOMEN are in 'nairaland', where all the INTELLECTUAL, DECENT people congregate.

Deal with it.....there will never be another 'kindergarten OBAnization' of CE.
CE dodged a DEATH bullet during the idiotic 'reign' of Oba and his crybaby team. Those clowns were calling each other to ban forumers for 'insulting their ........................WE-teams .
If you don't like it here, please move on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that is the problem isn't it? We must become your echo chamber or move on isn't it?

Zee likes labeling people 'perverts' and other labels, so of course he's against any change that wouldn't allow him to do that.

I never asked for banter to be stopped but for the targeted bullying that derails threads and makes some people not to post. The women who posted here were always a cut above Nairaland so I am not sure why that comparison is relevant. Besides if we are as tough as you claim why can't we take some "yo Mama" jokes? We threw them about when we were young and nothing happened. Why are all you tough guys sensitive about parental insults then? Let us have the free for all then.

Exactly.

[realtrouble]

Damunk, what are you doing about Waffiman, that routinely insults Arsenal fans. Where is your leadership in this matter and why is Waffiman still a moderator?