A Tale of Two Cities

[Senator WIRES]

Ole’s big book of ideas

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way.

“…with Matteo Darmian at centre-back,” Ole Gunnar Solskjaer mutters to himself, glumly closing the book. Literature is supposed to provide solace, he thinks. But not many things are what they’re supposed to be at the moment.
Solskjaer sighs and moseys over to his desk, heavy in the half-light beneath the life-size effigy of Sir Alex Ferguson. He opens his notebook to the page marked ‘IDEAS TO TURN THIS SHIP AROUND’. Last night’s defeat to Manchester City, not a hammering but pretty bleak in its own way, will require him to go even further down this list.

He recalls the first ideas he had, and looks at his own feedback, scrawled angrily in the margin. The page reads as follows:

– Talk relentlessly about the spirit of Fergie sides, to the point where it almost risks self-parody. Spirit of ’99 and all that. TRIED THIS – DIDN’T WORK.

– Put your arm around the shoulder of Paul Pogba. WORKED FOR A BIT. COULD REVISIT.

– Take the players to train at The Cliff before a big match. Just like the old days. NB – some players may need to be told what The Cliff is. DIDN’T WORK. LOOKED LIKE A GIMMICK.

– Play Matteo Darmian at centre-back against the best team in the league. CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR.

– Rehabilitate Fred. NOT LOOKING GOOD

– Rehabilitate Phil Jones. NO.

Solskjaer shakes his head, whispers half a prayer to Lord Ferg. At least there’s still one more page of retro schemes he can turn to in the months ahead:

– Buy Marouane Fellaini back.

– Get the Class of 92 in for a seminar. Maybe forget to invite Phil.

– Ask Gary Pallister if we can clone him. Would have to be a young version, obviously, because a 53-year-old version wouldn’t be that much better than Marcos Rojo.

– Ritually sacrifice Alexis Sanchez as a team-building exercise.

– Get a Roy Keane tattoo on my chest and rip my shirt off moments before a massive game, roaring “DO IT FOR ROY, MY DARLINGS!” (Also look into laser removal.)

– Move to Govan in search of inspiration.

He sinks back in his chair. The beginnings of a smile creep across his lips. No matter how bad it gets, he’ll always have Govan.

Blue is the colour
City: pretty, pretty good. Even without really hitting top gear. Even with Kevin De Bruyne injured and Fernandinho joining him.

In fact, given Ilkay Gundogan was limping and David Silva could well be cited for a karate kick on Andreas Pereira, the City midfield could look a little… lightweight over the next week or two.

Time for the classic Bernardo-Foden-Danilo central trident? Ah, who are we kidding? They’ll still be amazing.

https://www.eurosport.com/football/prem ... tory.shtml

[Coach]

The Cardiffean Slip.

[Senator WIRES]

The Cardiffean Slip.

I know you will be the first here . When I read the piece; my thoughts went to Sir Wordsmith Coachito



(and said, “If you diligently heed the voice of FERGIE and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His ways as commanded and keep all His statutes, He will put none of the defeats on you which he had brought on the Gunners, SPUDS etc in the years gone. For he is the LORD who heals you.”)

[Goldleaf]

Alex Ferguson did not win a thing from when he joined United in 1986 to his first FA Cup win in 1990, and that even required a replay of the final. The problem so far are the big time charlie managers being brought in that are not backed by Ed Woodward who buys players without heart. For some of us, non-United fans, watching some of those players strolling around the pitch, Fergie would have matched them out through the gates and told them never to come back. OGS must be given time to get the right kind of players that know what it means to play for United.

I will start with Chukwueze as the new Giggs.