CE World Cup Story!

Discuss the 22nd edition of the 2022 FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR™ scheduled to take place in Qatar from 21 November to 18 December 2022. Africa will be represented by Country-A, Country-B, Country-C, Country-D, AND Country-E.

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CE World Cup Story!

Post by ElHadary »

What a beautiful day in Brazil. People pouring in from the airports, beautiful women adorning the streets and excited fans entering the stadiums. It was quite the site! So many things to do, so many places to be but no better place than in the stadium. African teams are entering the pitch and we see some CE members sprawled across the stadium for a match.

A short man by the name of tfco tries so desperately to see what is going on down in the pitch. He tries hard, but he cannot see over the shoulder of a 16 year old girl even when standing up! He tries and tries until he give sup. He notices a fellow breda by the name of Rawlings having the same issue! tfco gets a brilliant idea and says, "Hey, let me climb on your shoulders so I can see what's going on and I can report to you!" Rawlings, a bit hesitant at first, said "ok" somewhat apprehensively. tfco gets on Rawlings shoulders, the two of them combined were just barely able to see over the 16 year old girl. tfco reports back, "okay I see them in the midfield.. they're going forward.. and oh what a mi-"

At that moment another angry man by the name of Bigpokey lashed out yelling, "kai see useless midget Ghana men posting spoilers! Bobo na craze, some here have not yet seen the game yet! Stop with the spoilers, abeg!" Rawlings and tfco sat there shocked as Bigpokey elected to watch Nigeria vs Argentina from 2010 instead of watching the live game rematch in 2014 on his portable app.

Meanwhile an angry person by the name of El Hadary sat there alone. He was conflicted as to who to cheer for. Does he cheer for his African brethren who didn't deserve to be there qualifying over Easyopei and Burkina Faso while his team lost one game, ONE GAME, to one of the best teams in Africa while Mexico deserves to be there? HOW STUPID I CANNOT ST- At that moment a man with large puffy hair who looked like he was stuck in Jamaica for two weeks says, "you craze mon! Shut up and watch the game stop thinking out loud.. angel* Egyptian stupi-" El Hadary noticed this is none other than the Gambian YUJAM himself. He kept ranting until El Hadary stated, "YUJAM.. I think some white women down there were eyeing you up over there!" He squealed, "where!?" grabbing El Hadary by the shirt. El Hadary exclaimed, "over there.. by that row." YUJAM took off, pushing down little girl and boy alike to get there. It is said to this day YUJAM is still looking for the women who stared at him.

A man by the name of cyrlindo sat there awkwardly. "Look, dis man he chase for white woman without looking at black woman first. I cannot believe dis, he has been reprogrammed by the Western World." He kept ranting until a man by the name of ohsee said, "der is no issue! I love all women!" Cyrlindo asked this old man, "why are you wearing sunglasses? It is overcast outside." Ohsee then took his sunglasses off and put it to the side while still holding it up. He angled the glasses to notice women standing up walking up and down the aisles checking out their backsides. A man then by the name of Man Ataye noticed the genius of this! He said how he liked the idea stating:

1.) This is far better than using a 4-4-2 strategy where my head is tilted to the other side of the field where there is less women to stare at.
2.) I don't think Keshi's new system will work well with attracting women viewers.
3.) Lagerback is my lord and savior.
4.) Nigeria can go far if they only use the 4-4-2.
5.) This game Nigeria isn't even playing in.
6.) ohsee implemented a brilliant strategy
7.) I need to fill this as no. 7 so that I can get my 10 bulletins in.

At that point a man with dreads down to his shoulders and black yellow and red colors just looked away angrily. He exclaimed as he walked away, "yet another bulletin points that will do nothing to solve Africa's problems."

Meanwhile in the Croatia match two men sat side by side. One bragged about his military experience and his amazing work within it. He boasted and chatted up ladies about his exploits until someone by the name of sinequinon called him out not believing him. He exclaimed, "what part of the military were you a part of, mate?" mate started to sweat a bit and said, "well.. uhhh I was part of a secret ops division that I can't really speak about!" sinequinon then exclaimed, "if you cannot talk about it, why were you telling those girls about it?" mate began to sweat profusely until he exclaimed, "gogo gadget escape!" He tried to escape using a lasso and catching it onto the top of the stadium's rails. This failed and the massive rope fell on an entire section of viewers.

The police were called to restore order and a normal American viewer by the name of King Piffington exclaimed, "you ruined the viewing experience for all those viewers man? Max disrespect man, not good.. not good."

Meanwhile at the Nigeria game a man by the name of Ekorian was dressed from head to toe in blue. He cheered on until someone asked him, "why not just wear Nigerian colors of the green and white?" He then said, "Is Mikel paying for the green and white!?" People looked on confused as if they could no longer explain to him. Ekorian looked on at everyone somewhat sad and Robbynice in all red with Arsenal gear, as everyone stared at them both awkwardly exclaimed, "angel*..." as they watched on.

Now I know this story was weird and at times far fetch'd, a man narrating exclaimed. He was in a trenchcoat and shades looked like Morpheus from the Matrix. "I know that many of you look on confused, angry or happy but just remember you think you can write a normal story about these bunch of CE misfits?"

He grinned, turned away about to walk out of the stadium and said, "Goodluck with that one..."
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by ElHadary »

*Bows*
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Coach »

*Play strings for the dramatic ending.

Good opener.
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by bushboy »

LOL!! :thumbs:
Bushboy's bushmen : 1.Isaac Success 2. Terem Moffi 3. Victor Boniface 4. Samuel Omorodion. 5. Samson Tijani. 6. Rafiu Durosinmi.
Who will be next?
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Ekorian »

:lol: :lol: :lol: I almost believe the story until you mentioned me about Mikel instead of Keshi. Nice one :clap:
GOD BLESS CANADA, THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Bigpokey24 »

why would i want to watch a 4 year old game live in a stadium ? I don't get it :???: but the Mikel part was funny
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by ElHadary »

Bigpokey24 wrote:why would i want to watch a 4 year old game live in a stadium ? I don't get it :???: but the Mikel part was funny
Only a fool cannot laugh at himself. I pit you, tbh.
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Bigpokey24 »

ElHadary wrote:
Bigpokey24 wrote:why would i want to watch a 4 year old game live in a stadium ? I don't get it :???: but the Mikel part was funny
Only a fool cannot laugh at himself. I pit you, tbh.
Dude seized with the insults .. your post was rubbish. , That is why 6 hours later still stuck on page one. Smh. The sad part is , you took your time to write this and post it..smh., dude focus on your school work..real talk
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by ElHadary »

Most found it funny, people find you funny for the wrong reasons. See the difference?
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

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ElHadary wrote:Most found it funny, people find you funny for the wrong reasons. See the difference?
So 3 people are now most :shock: you see your life, you are now begging for folks to laugh
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by ElHadary »

LOL. I'm not going to explain context and the English language to you, not here. Go find someone else to piss off Bigdummy.
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Bigpokey24 »

Why are you upset? I am even helping you to give your thread life... abeg CE help this thread with some laughs, the OP put a lot of efforts into it., bobo even took the day off to finish it
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Lager-back »

:rotf:
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Post by Bigpokey24 »

Than :rotf: ks Lager-back. Lets help him laugh. This thread must not die
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by ElHadary »

Bigpokey24 wrote:Than :rotf: ks Lager-back. Lets help him laugh. This thread must not die
You sorry piss poor excuse for a human being, you.
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Cellular »

Bigpokey24 wrote:Why are you upset? I am even helping you to give your thread life... abeg CE help this thread with some laughs, the OP put a lot of efforts into it., bobo even took the day off to finish it
BigTurkey,

I go come Youstin come carry your router...

It was funny... :D :taunt: :taunt:
THERE WAS A COUNTRY...

...can't cry more than the bereaved!

Well done is better than well said!!!
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by ElHadary »

Thanks Cellular :)
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Bigpokey24 »

Cellular wrote:
Bigpokey24 wrote:Why are you upset? I am even helping you to give your thread life... abeg CE help this thread with some laughs, the OP put a lot of efforts into it., bobo even took the day off to finish it
BigTurkey,

I go come Youstin come carry your router...

It was funny... :D :taunt: :taunt:
At least nah one laugh you give am.. :D ..Instead of am to say thank you oga Bigpokey24 for helping me on this thread.
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Cellular »

Bigpokey24 wrote:
Cellular wrote:
Bigpokey24 wrote:Why are you upset? I am even helping you to give your thread life... abeg CE help this thread with some laughs, the OP put a lot of efforts into it., bobo even took the day off to finish it
BigTurkey,

I go come Youstin come carry your router...

It was funny... :D :taunt: :taunt:
At least nah one laugh you give am.. :D ..Instead of am to say thank you oga Bigpokey24 for helping me on this thread.
BigTurkey di day you go write somn like dis ehhh, i go ax for 'sauce'.

:D :taunt: :taunt: :taunt: :P
THERE WAS A COUNTRY...

...can't cry more than the bereaved!

Well done is better than well said!!!
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Coach »

Double post. Fizzuk y'all biyatches. YOLO.

Following on from J.R.R Haddary's classic...

Part Deux: The Yakubufication of Celluminati
By Coachilliam 'Bahiagbon' Shakespeare

The sun, having risen like the soaring phoenix, burnt brilliantly in the Brazilian blue sky. Omnipresent, omnipotent, omnisexual, caressing the contoured bodies of man and woman alike, with seductively scorching strokes. Not only did it have its hat on, but a luminous zoot suit glowing like the fabulously fro'd Ohsee of old neath the disco ball, dancefloor bloodstained and begging for mercy. The heat was on and the kitchen, Copa Cabana beach, gorgeously golden sands decorated indelibly with bikinied bullion.

Beyond the borders of the eye's acuity lay architectural ingenuity, landscapes as pristine and precise as the perfervid strokes of Picasso's paintbrush. Apples, onions, pears, watermelons, a fabulous fruit salad of more meat than a stew pot besides the boulder-like ball of amala before Babafad. Big, burly, large, leviathanic, an Obelisk and more, equally adorned in equatorial sized elasticated trousers and topless, rumours abound he'd eaten his Asterisk, a morsel of much significance, as time would tell.

As the sun spent all its carnal concupiscence massaging said mounds with a Midas touch, rendering pale skins gold and gold more golden, the joyous chimes of boast and banter danced from the deckchairs strategically placed on such vantage points as to pardon a festival of voyeuristic perversion with precious little giveaway. Mazi Ohsee had woke early that morning, paced the beach's full width and breadth, pondered Pythagorean equations, before setting the stalls, chairs and other paraphernalia down. Inch perfect, the old owl had lost much with age, but for every bit of mojo passed, he'd acquired knowledge akin to the star reading ancestors.

"3-1" bellowed a skyscraping, Soul Glo jherri curled Cyberian, between forceful gnashes at the assorted meats in hand. Optimism, positivity and yet, somewhat paradoxically, the precursor to gutteral groans and shouts of condemnation. In this motley crew of Avengers, this Marvelesque assembly of Cyberian X Men, Mr Nice was more Jean Gray than Charles Xavier, enarmored with the powers of telekinesis, his was an ability to render Rome, at the height of its plom, perfectly useless in a sentence. "Give to Caesar..." and with that Caesar was given death and most certainly, his Pompeia debauched to her delight on those divorce papers, as he lay there bleeding.

"Oooooo! You don come again with dis yor jinx! Mek u not tok am agen, mek u not o! I no wan hear am! No be u wey say Moses go tek him fullback drink garri? No be Iranian garri and okro dey for his mouth. E no chop am o! Abeg oooooooo!". Pokey, as ever, emotive, exaggerating, entertaining, Cyberia's very own Thing, as aesthetically pleasing as a lopsided b*llock, his power remains unclassified, but certainly wasn't in dress sense or fashion. If the devil wears Prada, one can only imagine what old Nick would make of a Chelsea shirt, two sizes too small, bellytopping a grown man. Rapturous applause and laughter greeted Pokey's rant, hands stretched towards the platter once more.

"Dis meat sweet pass JET, Boeing 747 and G6 dey for Arsenal academy" muttered Professor W, "wetin be dis? Grasscutter?".

"Stop! Policia arresto" or something similarly sounding, boomed a beach patroller. In an instant, a relaxing, pre-match indulgence in cuisine and curvatures in the beach bars before the games, had skipped from the sands of serendipity to bad luck and misfortune. Unbeknownst to the gnashing teeth and licked fingers, Celluminati, in accordance with the sacrificial shenanigans of secret society, had acquired an octopus, the eating of which would impress upon the average and sub-par Eagles, unparalleled talents and ability. That same morning, FIFA had called an audience before the aquatorium to see the eight tentacled oracle predict the prosperers from the day's contests. CCTV footage had shown Celluminati, v-shaped eyebrows akin to a modern day Ming the Merciless, strip fully naked, before sketching stars and various celestial shapes upon his nakedness and diving into the oversized fish tank.

A cartoon villain cackled laugh greeted the call for "hands in the air". "Let me explanate" offered Mazi Ohsee, "Cellysanjo na real...", "shato apo" a bystander interrupted, in a show of patriotism perhaps, the Hobbit height cab driver, of enforced Brazilian accent and Ayewdinho written in Biro across his back, flashed a right hand that knocked the red cap clean off the village elder's crown.

"You're all under arrestio".

"Chai, so na di state of our union go be twenty five to life o!!!! Chai!" Robby prophesied and as if by magic, the handcuffs loosened their hold, failed their hinges and collapsed to the floor. What manner of mystery, jinx and conjuring had transpired thought the gathering crowd. "Los omenos" chorused across the Capabana.

"Ahem, let me explanate" tendered Ohsee once more, "di tings wey jigglypuff for dis beach eh, na real jontoriffic jontofication, mek I..." coming to abrupt pause, he completed his parlance with forceful thrusts of his pelvis in the direction of those shapely splendours.

"Winner takes the world" beamed an arms outstretched in dictatorial fashion Cellybangida. "5 aside, one goal wins...the world" he followed, as if such was within his possession.

The stage was set, in reverence to his age and seniority, La Policia, perhaps overzealously afforded Mazi the liberty to pick the opposition. Five plentifully breasted, amply derriered spectacles later and the great escape was in full flourish. The hosts, Iraniacal in defence and magnificently seductive up top, proved an assured, measured, not least in J cup and Kash n Karrymetres, opponent, thrice striking the bar from range. The Cyberian's had, in comparison, been poor, Pokey, pedestrian, playing a plethora of short, sideways passes whilst humming the Run My Race instrumental. Pass completion 98%, but none of creative influence. The shape, predictable, two at the back, the mercurial Mazi in the hole and two sizeable galoots up top, Shola Amerobby and Emmanuel Celluminike.

Picked purely for his critically acclaimed and evidently unsubstantiated, hold up play, Robby had shown the composure of an oga on top in the housemaid's bedroom. His strike partner, cut a forlorn figure, filling the void between lazy offsides with diabolical dives and calls for "penarities" irrespective of distance from the opposing area.

"We're heading for penalties Jeff" and then it happened, fortune and all its serendipity. A goal mouth scramble, a casual elbow to the well cushioned Babafadian ribs, sees a neurologically impossible reflex reaction, Ejideonics, but for a rebound off the stanchion.

"Robby with the clearance, anywhere will do Jeff"..."its with Pokey now, glorious turn, beats one, beats two, what a pass Andy!...Ohsee's away surely".

Arms swinging post haste simulating pace, if only the feet would oblige. Arriving second to the ball, the trailing leg would do to Okosisi as the cutlass does the compounds lifeless grass.

"A thunderous fifty:fifty Jeff, both players are down", "and that's got to hurt" the pundit added. A scissor-like challenge had toppled Mazi, the momentum carrying an exquisitely endowed beautifully black brick house tumbling atop the prostrated pensioner. The fall, forceful, impressing upon the talisman breast cups, kegs and tumblers. "Dia ris God o", the zinedian octogenarian proclaimed from the depths of his mammory confine.

"A fortunate ricochet sends Celluminike clear Andy, he's one on one, has he got the pace to get there first?".

"The keeper's coming for it". Hurrying towards the striker, magnificently mounded, beautifully buttocked, both bouncing in perfect unison, up, down, left, right, dancing like the ancients in rhythmic capoeira.

"She's going to get there first J..oh! Brilliant from Celluminike, a Pele-esque dummy sends her one way, he's gone the other, genius, surely Jeff! Surely".

Goal gaping, a call for composure, the simplest of strokes, the easiest of finishes. Therein lay its difficulty. Neath the roaring inferno, the blazing ball of fire, the scorching summer solstice would make of his acumen an absolute Ameobi.

"Oooooooo, he's got to score, he had to score and he missed Andy". "Its a quick counter Jeff, terrific pace, look at them go, the bra straps broken, the thongs torn, she's one on one Jeff, Kash n Karry's got his camera out, he thinks its all over". "It is now!".
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

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ElHadary wrote:What a beautiful day in Brazil. People pouring in from the airports, beautiful women adorning the streets and excited fans entering the stadiums. It was quite the site! So many things to do, so many places to be but no better place than in the stadium. African teams are entering the pitch and we see some CE members sprawled across the stadium for a match.

A short man by the name of tfco tries so desperately to see what is going on down in the pitch. He tries hard, but he cannot see over the shoulder of a 16 year old girl even when standing up! He tries and tries until he give sup. He notices a fellow breda by the name of Rawlings having the same issue! tfco gets a brilliant idea and says, "Hey, let me climb on your shoulders so I can see what's going on and I can report to you!" Rawlings, a bit hesitant at first, said "ok" somewhat apprehensively. tfco gets on Rawlings shoulders, the two of them combined were just barely able to see over the 16 year old girl. tfco reports back, "okay I see them in the midfield.. they're going forward.. and oh what a mi-"

At that moment another angry man by the name of Bigpokey lashed out yelling, "kai see useless midget Ghana men posting spoilers! Bobo na craze, some here have not yet seen the game yet! Stop with the spoilers, abeg!" Rawlings and tfco sat there shocked as Bigpokey elected to watch Nigeria vs Argentina from 2010 instead of watching the live game rematch in 2014 on his portable app.

Meanwhile an angry person by the name of El Hadary sat there alone. He was conflicted as to who to cheer for. Does he cheer for his African brethren who didn't deserve to be there qualifying over Easyopei and Burkina Faso while his team lost one game, ONE GAME, to one of the best teams in Africa while Mexico deserves to be there? HOW STUPID I CANNOT ST- At that moment a man with large puffy hair who looked like he was stuck in Jamaica for two weeks says, "you craze mon! Shut up and watch the game stop thinking out loud.. angel* Egyptian stupi-" El Hadary noticed this is none other than the Gambian YUJAM himself. He kept ranting until El Hadary stated, "YUJAM.. I think some white women down there were eyeing you up over there!" He squealed, "where!?" grabbing El Hadary by the shirt. El Hadary exclaimed, "over there.. by that row." YUJAM took off, pushing down little girl and boy alike to get there. It is said to this day YUJAM is still looking for the women who stared at him.

A man by the name of cyrlindo sat there awkwardly. "Look, dis man he chase for white woman without looking at black woman first. I cannot believe dis, he has been reprogrammed by the Western World." He kept ranting until a man by the name of ohsee said, "der is no issue! I love all women!" Cyrlindo asked this old man, "why are you wearing sunglasses? It is overcast outside." Ohsee then took his sunglasses off and put it to the side while still holding it up. He angled the glasses to notice women standing up walking up and down the aisles checking out their backsides. A man then by the name of Man Ataye noticed the genius of this! He said how he liked the idea stating:

1.) This is far better than using a 4-4-2 strategy where my head is tilted to the other side of the field where there is less women to stare at.
2.) I don't think Keshi's new system will work well with attracting women viewers.
3.) Lagerback is my lord and savior.
4.) Nigeria can go far if they only use the 4-4-2.
5.) This game Nigeria isn't even playing in.
6.) ohsee implemented a brilliant strategy
7.) I need to fill this as no. 7 so that I can get my 10 bulletins in.

At that point a man with dreads down to his shoulders and black yellow and red colors just looked away angrily. He exclaimed as he walked away, "yet another bulletin points that will do nothing to solve Africa's problems."

Meanwhile in the Croatia match two men sat side by side. One bragged about his military experience and his amazing work within it. He boasted and chatted up ladies about his exploits until someone by the name of sinequinon called him out not believing him. He exclaimed, "what part of the military were you a part of, mate?" mate started to sweat a bit and said, "well.. uhhh I was part of a secret ops division that I can't really speak about!" sinequinon then exclaimed, "if you cannot talk about it, why were you telling those girls about it?" mate began to sweat profusely until he exclaimed, "gogo gadget escape!" He tried to escape using a lasso and catching it onto the top of the stadium's rails. This failed and the massive rope fell on an entire section of viewers.

The police were called to restore order and a normal American viewer by the name of King Piffington exclaimed, "you ruined the viewing experience for all those viewers man? Max disrespect man, not good.. not good."

Meanwhile at the Nigeria game a man by the name of Ekorian was dressed from head to toe in blue. He cheered on until someone asked him, "why not just wear Nigerian colors of the green and white?" He then said, "Is Mikel paying for the green and white!?" People looked on confused as if they could no longer explain to him. Ekorian looked on at everyone somewhat sad and Robbynice in all red with Arsenal gear, as everyone stared at them both awkwardly exclaimed, "angel*..." as they watched on.

Now I know this story was weird and at times far fetch'd, a man narrating exclaimed. He was in a trenchcoat and shades looked like Morpheus from the Matrix. "I know that many of you look on confused, angry or happy but just remember you think you can write a normal story about these bunch of CE misfits?"

He grinned, turned away about to walk out of the stadium and said, "Goodluck with that one..."
Another classic by ElHadary :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
"Today we remember Nigeria and Africa football legend, Late Coach Stephen Okechukwu Keshi who passed on, on june 7th 2016. Thank you for the memories ‘The Big Boss.’ We can never forget you"............Kanu Nwankwo
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Coach »

^Royal Mail. Delivers. Captures the characters effortlessly. Quips, comedy, spoof, satire. At the threshold of Mazi Booker Prize greatness. The only criticism being volume, the people need more. Keep it coming.

Who was it who wrote that siege saga during the civil unrest in Cyberia? Another classic, Anointed if memory serves correct. Legendary.
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Re: CE World Cup Story!

Post by Coach »

???...it may well have been Analyzer.

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