Erling Haaland

[Coach]

And presumably Gabriel Jesus was deployed as a numero nueve at the Bayern of Britain? In the age of the millennial the emoji is King. No further questions your Honour.

Interesting to hear Alphonso serenading Erlingbunigwe whilst stoic in his defence of die Bundesliga. Had he been so stoic when faced by Bernardo Silva, perhaps the great Bavarians might have been kings of Europe once more. 3-zip. Flogged and Davies, ridden raw.

Closing remarks? One word Your Honour. Dean. Dixie. 60 goals and not a goalpost shifted.

[danfo driver]

And presumably Gabriel Jesus was deployed as a numero nueve at the Bayern of Britain? In the age of the millennial the emoji is King. No further questions your Honour.

Interesting to hear Alphonso serenading Erlingbunigwe whilst stoic in his defence of die Bundesliga. Had he been so stoic when faced by Bernardo Silva, perhaps the great Bavarians might have been kings of Europe once more. 3-zip. Flogged and Davies, ridden raw.

Closing remarks? One word Your Honour. Dean. Dixie. 60 goals and not a goalpost shifted.

Yeovil Brammel Gabby, positioned as King on the shoulders of Madrid of Manchester, yet, never once did narrow shouldered Gabby do much, but weep and b1tch like a spoiled child. Oh! Brammel Brammel of Lancaster!

The GREATEST STRIKER IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENGLISH GAME, ERLINTON HAALANGHAM!

[Coach]

West Ham 0-0 Man City:

Sky Sports' Laura Hunter at the London Stadium:
"Haaland hangs his head. He's missed a sitter. And he's well onside. The ball appears to arrive at his feet too quickly.

And just like that, James Ward-No Sitters missed, bashes one in. Easy peasy.

[danfo driver]

West Ham 0-0 Man City:

Sky Sports' Laura Hunter at the London Stadium:
"Haaland hangs his head. He's missed a sitter. And he's well onside. The ball appears to arrive at his feet too quickly.

And just like that, James Ward-No Sitters missed, bashes one in. Easy peasy.

Easy Peasy, "Haaland makes it 3-1 and just like they always do, they are back! and he is back with another routine goal."

[Coach]

Erlingbunigwe with one to dilute the shocking disparity with the xG. Shed loads of sitters missed. Should have easily peasily bagged a hattrick. Dixie “60 goals” Dean, fact, would’ve had four or five. One. True. Legend.

[danfo driver]

Brammal Brammal weeping like a tweedle dee being breast fed by nanny! boo hoo hoo! Erling scored a goal and now, i have to cry into mommy's laps

Easy Peasy league, every week, boom! 1 -2 or 3! Just like clockwork!

[danfo driver]

Haaland is wicked sha! He lures them into a false sense of comfort and they start shooting their teeth! Only for him to give them a 1-2 punch, taking out all their front teeth!

Easy peasy!

[Mr. Piffington]

Had a relatively poor game today but still scored. Very impressive player.

[Scipio Africanus]

I don’t rate Haaland until he puts Norway on his shoulders and carries them into a major tournament

[danfo driver]

Had a relatively poor game today but still scored. Very impressive player.

The league is just weak! Easy Peasy! Even when the kid is asleep, he still scores. In Bundesliga and Austrian League, he didnt have it this easy. It was very tough for him.

[Coach]

43 minutes in and seems as though Erlingbunigwe has invited his Wieghorst to the easiest of his easy peaseys. Hatful of misses.

[Coach]

Sitter after sitter missed by Wieghorst. One chance, one goal for Red Star. Pep will need to bring on Erling for Wout.

[danfo driver]

Sitter after sitter missed by Wieghorst. One chance, one goal for Red Star. Pep will need to bring on Erling for Wout.

Not suprised. Same was he couldnt be highest goal scorer in Norway, Austria and Germany, anytime he meets any non-English team, he struggles badly! But once he sees an English team, like David Banner, he grows into incredible hulk and mauls them, with ease! Easy Peasy, so so easy! Its actually embarrassing how easy he finds the EPL and English teams, considering how poor he is against everyone else.

Struggling against a Serbian team, but watch him destroy Nottingham Forrest on Saturday Easy Peasy, uselsess Leaguey!

Its actually hilarious how you continue to make my point, without initially realizing it

[Coach]

And another. Erlingbunigwe should be on 5. Going full Wieghorst here.

[Coach]

Champions League leading scorer last season. Evidently. Needed a move to City to achieve it. Interesting.

[Coach]

34 goals in 31 games, best goals per games ratio in the competition’s history. Struggles indeed. These Gen Zombies.

[danfo driver]

City scores 3 and Brammal Brammal broad shoulders couldnt even score 1! S-T-R-U-G-G-L-I-N-G

BUT HE SHALL RETURN TO THE SCORE SHEET ON SATURDAY, as usual, canning another English Team, easy peasy!

[danfo driver]

I no tok am??!!! Brammall Brammal Broad Shouldershire! Right back to the EPL, right back to the scoresheet! such a sh1t league! Dude cannot score in Europe, but this league is soooooo easy... dude scores in his sleep. 6 games, 8 goals! Easy Peasy!

[Coach]

Leicester, East Midlands. Nottinghamshire, East Midlands.
Everton vs Leicester, Nov 1932; 9-2
- Dixie Dean 4 goals.
Simple. One True King.

[danfo driver]

Poached eggs, sausages with a side of toast?! A toast to the greatest ever to walk through Lancastershire! Brammall Brammall... easy peasy! Whenever he likes, he takes the yorkshire pudding and sticks it up their . . . arsenal, arsenal, arseennnaalllL!

He is the true King of English Football, a weak pathetic league you say? Yes, you are right! A worthless league, so easy, that the Brammall sleep walks through.

[danfo driver]

Leicester, East Midlands. Nottinghamshire, East Midlands.
Everton vs Leicester, Nov 1932; 9-2
- Dixie Dean 4 goals.
Simple. One True King.

You keep mistakenly making my point. You arent too smart are you?

The League is weak today and has always been weak since its pathetic inception. Even back in 1932, The One True King Dean was was scoring 4 goals in a game for fun! Easy peasy!

Now you have a guy who couldnt rule Norway, Austria and Germany.. a guy who struggles against all other opposition, but he comes to your home and destroys everybody.

[George Bush]

David + Goliath = Haaland!!!!!!

[Coach]

Mighty Molineux.