Erling Haaland

[Coach]

8th Nov 1930:
Everton beat Wolves 4 goals to two. William Dean brace and the All English goal scoring record with it. Master of the arts.

[Coach]

Wolves 1-0 Man City
Sky Sports' Joe Shread:
"We're 50 minutes into the game and Haaland has had nine touches.

"The Wolves defence - and Dawson in particular - have dealt with him brilliantly so far." Chineke. Ordinary Ekenediliwolverhampton.

Gary O’Neilninho.

[Coach]

Alvarez, heir apparent, to the rescue.

[Coach]

Hwang restores the lead for the Wolves of Wolverhampton. City still hoping for Haaland. 1930, William Dean already two goals up.

[Coach]

75 minutes in. 13 touches. 2-1 down. Not so easy peasy thus far.

[Coach]

Closing in on 80 easy peasy minutes Paolo Madawson resolute. Manhandling. Interesting.

[Coach]

Ich bin easy peasy indeedy. Wilfred Indeedy. Comical. Ordinary past his sell by date Paolo Maldawson and Franco Bakilman. Watch the highlights chaps. Manhandled. Raggy dolled. Walk in the park they said. MacArthur Park perhaps.

[Coach]

90 minutes vs the Mighty Real Wolverhampton, 15 easy peasy touches. Roughhoused by Paolo Maldawson as if behind on his rent. Ich bin easy peasy indeedy. For Dixie Dean perhaps.

[The YeyeMan]

[mcal]

...I see Haaland being dumped by City for a fresh recruit.
Defenders have found him out.
The big ol' nordic

[Coach]

^Not that he’s been found out. City sans De Bruyne is Haaland sans one of the Premier League’s Hall of Famers. The passes, the passages of play, the game itself, everything is different sans De Bruyne. Haaland was having to wrestle for his fair share, were as a slide-rule from the Brilliant Belgian would often cut out all comers.

The old school, school of hard knocks centrehalves live for those scraps. Paolo Maldawson bullied Erling for the full ninety. Raggy dolled him. Easy peasy indeedy. Wilfred Indeedy.

The curse of youth is buffoonery.

[joplass]

^Not that he’s been found out. City sans De Bruyne is Haaland sans one of the Premier League’s Hall of Famers. The passes, the passages of play, the game itself, everything is different sans De Bruyne. Haaland was having to wrestle for his fair share, were as a slide-rule from the Brilliant Belgian would often cut out all comers.

The old school, school of hard knocks centrehalves live for those scraps. Paolo Maldawson bullied Erling for the full ninety. Raggy dolled him. Easy peasy indeedy. Wilfred Indeedy.

The curse of youth is buffoonery.

We should be part of that committee that votes for ballon d'or. How would you want to give a ballon d'or to Haaland and not to De Bruyne or Gundogan?

Haaland is great goal scorer, that's about it.

[Coach]

Alvarez to the rescue again. No Wieghorsting from the little Argie.

[Coach]

C’est la easy peasy Premiere Leaguey Monsieur Mbappe. Beaucoup easy peasy indeedy. Wilfred Indeedy.

[Bigpokey24]

C’est la easy peasy Premiere Leaguey Monsieur Mbappe. Beaucoup easy peasy indeedy. Wilfred Indeedy.

hey assanal lost, Saka is hurt, you lose sleep over the best player in world-football all because he didn't score. You've lost the plot

[danfo driver]

As expected! Nordic Brammall Brammal Broad shoulders unable to score in CL. Struggling against any team in other leagues. However, I expect him to return to the EPL this weekened an humiliate another English team! Easy Peasy! What a weak league

[Coach]

Ermm….never mind.

[Sleaky72]

Ermm….never mind.

Heard the Met police have brought in Willow for questioning on charges of
Unlawful imprisonment of a certain Scandinavian lol.

[Coach]

Ever so easy peasy. Gen Zombie reasoning. Haaland, as brilliant a striker as he may be, minus the ingenuity of Kevin De Bruyne and space occupying movement of Gundogan, is Arthur sans Excalibur. As there’s no corresponding emoji for that, it’s more Gen Z casuistry.

Onward rolls the tumbleweed. Convenient amnesia perhaps.

[danfo driver]

Ever so easy peasy. Gen Zombie reasoning. Haaland, as brilliant a striker as he may be, minus the ingenuity of Kevin De Bruyne and space occupying movement of Gundogan, is Arthur sans Excalibur. As there’s no corresponding emoji for that, it’s more Gen Z casuistry.

Onward rolls the tumbleweed. Convenient amnesia perhaps.

I entirely agree with you. Weak, crap and average player. I have been saying it for a long time. An thats why he struggles in Europe and could not win top scorer in Norway, Austria and Germany.

This is why its so shocking to see him destroy the English league! Shows up, wins highest goals scorer EASILY in his first season, selected as your league's best player! This season again, he is dominating the league EASILY, with 8 goals in 8 games! Its actually embarrassing! To see such an average player just destroy a league like its child's play.

[Coach]

Tremendous Bundesliga record. Multiple records held in the UEFA Champions league. Easy peasy multiverse presumably?

[danfo driver]

Tremendous Bundesliga record. Multiple records held in the UEFA Champions league. Easy peasy multiverse presumably?

Yet, unable to be highest goalscorer, until he came to England where he destroyed the league on his first try! On Second try? 8 goals in 8 games! Easy peasy fock them easy.

[Donzman]

What is this? Danfo and coach just talking PAST each other.