IMHO, comparing Tammy Abraham (his non-decision to play with Nigeria) to the decision of Victor Moses, Alex Iwobi, or Aina is a bit of a stretch. There are major differences (Using Ayoakinfe's 10-pointers. Forgive me if I am unable to get to 10

):
1. Only Tammy, of that bunch, ever got a anything close to a look by England at the senior level. None of the other three did.
2. You may argue that the other three did not because they chose Nigeria instead. But even that argument is really doubtful unless we are forgetting the circumstances surrounding their choice of Nigeria.
3. Iwobi had represented England at the youth levels but had been left out at U19 level by England. This was a sour point. Although he had signed for Arsenal's senior squad, there were uncertainties because of the fate of Chuks Aneke who was perceived as shafted by the club. Wenger made it clear that Iwobi made his decision because it did not seem England was interested at U19 or U21 and the senior level. In fact, he had yet to play for Arsenal full squad when Nigeria came calling if you recall, he already debuted for Nigeria before he played a competitive game for Arsenal. So why would England be interested? It turned out to be a big move by Nigeria but describing it as Iwobi chosing Nigeria with England aggressively competing for him is not factual. Instead, Iwobi chose Nigeria because England had shown little or no interest.
4. Victor Moses was far more further along than Iwobi. He had played for England's youth teams including U19 and U21 and was already playing competitively for major English clubs and, thus, was fully expected to be called up to play for England. But he was repeatedly snubbed by England even though Victor had chosen England over Nigeria at the lower levels (U20 etc.). In fact, as far back as 2010 Nigeria had expectations but Moses, having already played for England at youth levels, hoped for a call up to the main England squad. Those snubs made Victor to choose Nigeria eventually in 2011.
5. Ola Aina's case was similar to Iwobi's except that he (Aina) had already featured at high youth tiers for England. However, there was not an interest at the senior level of England given that Aina was not featuring that much for Chelsea. I think, however, he pulled the plug on an England opportunity much earlier because Nigeria gave him an international opportunity which did even appear to cross the mind of England at the time.
6. The point here is the claim that these boys chose Nigeria over an England that was actively seeking them is not accurate. The boys took their decisions because England was not forthcoming. In the end, Nigeria gained from it because (at least my opinion) England is perhaps regretting not giving at least Iwobi and Moses a look-in. They have given that to Tammy and that is a huge difference.
7. I believe that if any of Moses, Iwobi, or Aina had been given a similar look-in that England has given Tammy, they may well have looked England's way.
8. After all, let us remember that these players have spent their footballing careers mostly in England and not Nigeria. They have grown up among England-based friends. Logically, England should be their first choice.
9. They likely chose Nigeria because it was an option to satisfy their longing for international careers. Tammy's longing for that same career has been presented with an opportunity by England, something the other three never had at the senior level. I do not blame Tammy.
10. As long as Tammy does not play competitively for England, he still can feature for Nigeria if England sours on him as per invitations to future internationals.